with each wave
these last moments
bathe our consciousness

there is nothing else…

(jobs are waiting)

put the tiny shells
in your pockets
i tell the boys

so the big ones won’t crush them

two buddies –
they are eleven
never to be eleven again

the breeze takes my tears

2003

The Night Joe Left

October 2, 2008

Joe asks me
to stay,
to keep
the earthly vigil
into this night.

He speaks no words;
nor do his eyes
look upon me.
No one knows
except he
and I.

This father cannot
take leave of his family
while lying helpless –
unable to whisper
“don’t worry”
unable to say
goodbye.

exhausted,
the others begin
to go home.

It will be better
this way.
I the sentry
who falls asleep,
he the spirit who sheds
this breaking body.
this sweet life…

Joe continues to stare
at a ceiling he does not see
while his inner core
prepares for
departure.

Across the hall
irritated alarms split
the midnight silence
as some poor soul
gets up to
wander.

tell him
he can go – it is okay
to go.

Sitting in the visitor’s chair
at three
a.m.
I fall
victim
to
the
mathematical
drone
of
the
oxygen
machine…

Soon
after,
he presses my shoulder.

I awaken.

He is gone.

Dad Wore Hats

June 15, 2008

Not when he should have.

On a cold bright day
he would call out
where is your hat?
while the wind played
in his hair.

Nor the way he should have.

It was always
crunched atop his head
by a nephew or daughter
running around our backyard
at a picnic.

Nor what he should have.

Into the dewy night
the adults would sing
heads touching in harmony
dad smoking a Chesterfield
wearing a bonnet.

wemagine

January 8, 2008

I am a person
this is precious
because you are

Missing Him

December 24, 2007

Let’s work backwards:

First, I will miss him just sitting in his chair
content to smile as if he had no needs –
connected by spirit, happy to be.

I will miss the shuffle of his brave feet
planting the walker ahead like an ice axe;
climbing mountains we could not see.

I will miss him presiding above the fondue
a sorcerer in candle light,
stirring up batches of yuletide glee.

I will miss him saying grace at the helm
from which he would love, work, and lead
a life of no regret – a life of family.

no hard feelings

December 7, 2007

Saw a man jogging…
he looked like dad.

I tried not to wish
it was him.

I tried.

Eternity smiles

May 5, 2006

On a cold still night
moon lights the room.

I hold her upon my lap
a  warm tiny bundle.

Her dark eyes
search this space

as we rock in time
with the universe…