on the outside looking in
January 11, 2007
you never look in
at me
i often look in
at you
you have
those things
i am told
bring happiness
i have
those things
i am told
bring shame
i look into
your
restaurant
you spend
my week’s wages
in a night
so elegant
so white
table cloths
and candles
fine wines
and waiters
I could go on
and on…
but i have been ordered
to move along…
qazse 
January 11, 2007 at 5:58 am
(I’m here via Poetry Thursday, although I see my net friend Soulless on your blogroll which explains why your name looks familiar.)
If this is a true piece, I’m riddled with holes of sadness. Someone in control “orders” as your ending states, but maybe that it’s inside voice ordering you to move on, I hope?
The starkness of your work here, underscores it’s serious contemplations and/or consequences.
Fine writing.
January 11, 2007 at 8:43 am
I hate to bore you with my reactions, but wow. This really paints the scene for me.
January 11, 2007 at 9:12 am
Very profound. It depicts the attitudes of many these days.
January 11, 2007 at 10:16 am
The rich get richer while the poor get poorer, while politicians peddle the politics of selfishness and envy. BB
January 11, 2007 at 11:16 am
gel, thank you. This piece is imaginary. The order to move along was external.
Oddly, some restaurants want the diners to be able to look upon the sea of humanity passing by but that sea ought not stop to stare. It would be like all the fish in the tank ( which is there for our pleasure – not theirs)stopping and looking at us.
January 11, 2007 at 11:19 am
I like the sad rhythem of “you have/ I have” that carries this poem…along.
I’m glad you write about such things. Thank you.
January 11, 2007 at 1:51 pm
howard, you never have to apologize for a “wow” or otherwise…glad you saw the scene… thanks for your interest!
January 11, 2007 at 3:07 pm
been there… wonderful way to express it.
January 11, 2007 at 3:27 pm
This is an intensely quiet and serene poem, with deeply moving themes that I feel fit VERY well with the soft way in which the poem walks down the page. Very well done.
January 11, 2007 at 5:59 pm
great poem. so evocative.
January 11, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Very moving. The minimalism of the lines really connects us, I think, with the narrator and gives the poem and the narrator a sort of quiet dignity (while also, of course, emphasize how little–including how little voice–he has), making it doubly shocking that he could be treated this way. Great job with this one.
January 11, 2007 at 7:24 pm
timbob – glad you stopped back. What attitudes to you refer to specifically?
blackbank – “in the mean time, in between time, ain’t we got fun…” The governor of my state ( Pennsylvania )was reelected this past November and is having himself a big inaugural bash. While the amenities may be covered by private money, I suspect we taxpayers may be footing the bill for security and cleanup, not to mention the loss of productivity for this Tuesday. Why do these incumbents need to throw themselves a party after reelection on my hard earned tax dollars? Sounds like something the Saddams of the world like to do.
January 11, 2007 at 7:26 pm
Both your poems–very interesting and thought provoking.
January 11, 2007 at 7:48 pm
deb – thank you. When I write about such things I hope I am not being overly didactic.
Ascender – Thank you. When you say “been there”, may I ask in what capacity?
fondakowski – your comment is poetic. Thank you.
mikaela – thank you for the “evocative”.
Jon – my main job puts me in touch with many working poor families my other job puts me in touch with the very wealthy. Wealth has put a wedge between them. Luxury is taken for granted as a right and a duty by those who can afford it. They are socialized into this mindset. One man drinks Dom while another cannot afford to have a rotted tooth extracted. Thanks for stopping by.
Emily – thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your positive comments.
January 11, 2007 at 9:13 pm
The last line, the image, is very powerful.
January 12, 2007 at 8:00 am
This immediatly after reading hit me as a drug addict or alcoholic partner that uses up wages in a day on drugs or booz. That is just my experience jumping in but it’s what poetry is supossed to do. Excellent work. I will definetly be back.
January 14, 2007 at 7:11 pm
so elegant
with white
changed to
so elegant
so white
restaurants changed to restaurant
January 15, 2007 at 1:43 am
Chris – my conception of who was looking in was different from yours. You are right, that is what poetry is about. Thanks for visiting and commenting.