when I am only bones

February 10, 2007

beach-fence.jpg

when I can no longer recall
I will tell stories

when I am only bones
I will be your fence

photo source:

14 Responses to “when I am only bones”

  1. twitches Says:

    what sort of fence
    would you want to be –

    white pickets surrounding
    an orderly facade

    or chain-link guarding
    a mob of snarling dogs

    or barbed wire twisted
    over pegs of heavy wood

    stumping the yard
    like dismembered crimes

    Qazse: Hey Twitches! buenos twitchos!

    I like the notion of a dismembered crime. However, I was thinking of something a bit less macabre.

    perhaps a fence
    like a catcher in the rye
    or one which doubles
    as a xylophone

  2. Lola Says:

    Oh, my. That is really, really wonderful.

    Qazse: you are too kind, but thank you for being so…

  3. qazse Says:

    or perhaps spiritual fortitude handed down through generations…

  4. qazse Says:

    or how about 8 revisions down to one line…sorry about that…unless you enjoyed it.

  5. birdsword Says:

    where did your poem go? I like the fence poem.

    Qazse: sorry, sometimes I tamper with my poems under the guise of revision. Lola has also voiced her displeasure. I will see if I can recall the original post. Thanks for your feedback!

  6. AnnieElf Says:

    ahhh, yes. We change and we continue.

    Qazse: tumbling through time and space…

  7. Lola Says:

    I really liked the original version that I first commented on: spare and direct.

    Qazse: hey Lola, Birdsword is also asking. I will try to remember the original. If what I revise this to does not match your recall please let me know. Thanks for being honest with me.


  8. I remember what Paul Valery said…
    Poems are never finished, only abandoned.

    I struggle with this sometimes…I feel your pain!

    Qazse: thank you Heather. I needed that.

  9. petitmuse Says:

    that gave me the shivers.

    Qazse: thank you petitmuse, it is fun to give the shivers…

  10. petitmuse Says:

    I would like to add, in a good way!

    Qazse: I had no doubt…thanks for stopping by!

  11. Katie Says:

    WOW. That’s amazing. I love the power in this, and the feeling of ambiguity–it could almost be menacing, depending on who it’s addressed to. A fierce person with stories to tell is no one to mess with …

  12. qazse Says:

    yes,is the fence a protection or a trap?

  13. tomachfive Says:

    This strikes me as very spiritual, great shot.

  14. qazse Says:

    I wish I could take credit for the shot. Best regards tm5.


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