qazse

14 Responses to “when I am only bones”

1. twitches Says:

   
   February 10, 2007 at 10:57 pm

   what sort of fence
   would you want to be –

   white pickets surrounding
   an orderly facade

   or chain-link guarding
   a mob of snarling dogs

   or barbed wire twisted
   over pegs of heavy wood

   stumping the yard
   like dismembered crimes

   Qazse: Hey Twitches! buenos twitchos!

   I like the notion of a dismembered crime. However, I was thinking of something a bit less macabre.

   perhaps a fence
   like a catcher in the rye
   or one which doubles
   as a xylophone

   Reply
2. Lola Says:

   
   February 10, 2007 at 11:45 pm

   Oh, my. That is really, really wonderful.

   Qazse: you are too kind, but thank you for being so…

   Reply
3. qazse Says:

   
   February 11, 2007 at 11:17 am

   or perhaps spiritual fortitude handed down through generations…

   Reply
4. qazse Says:

   
   February 12, 2007 at 1:35 pm

   or how about 8 revisions down to one line…sorry about that…unless you enjoyed it.

   Reply
5. birdsword Says:

   
   February 12, 2007 at 8:40 pm

   where did your poem go? I like the fence poem.

   Qazse: sorry, sometimes I tamper with my poems under the guise of revision. Lola has also voiced her displeasure. I will see if I can recall the original post. Thanks for your feedback!

   Reply
6. AnnieElf Says:

   
   February 13, 2007 at 12:27 am

   ahhh, yes. We change and we continue.

   Qazse: tumbling through time and space…

   Reply
7. Lola Says:

   
   February 13, 2007 at 8:36 am

   I really liked the original version that I first commented on: spare and direct.

   Qazse: hey Lola, Birdsword is also asking. I will try to remember the original. If what I revise this to does not match your recall please let me know. Thanks for being honest with me.

   Reply
8. Naughty Heather Says:

   
   February 13, 2007 at 9:07 pm

   I remember what Paul Valery said…
   Poems are never finished, only abandoned.

   I struggle with this sometimes…I feel your pain!

   Qazse: thank you Heather. I needed that.

   Reply
9. petitmuse Says:

   
   February 14, 2007 at 2:33 pm

   that gave me the shivers.

   Qazse: thank you petitmuse, it is fun to give the shivers…

   Reply
10. petitmuse Says:

    
    February 14, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    I would like to add, in a good way!

    Qazse: I had no doubt…thanks for stopping by!

    Reply
11. Katie Says:

    
    February 15, 2007 at 11:28 pm

    WOW. That’s amazing. I love the power in this, and the feeling of ambiguity–it could almost be menacing, depending on who it’s addressed to. A fierce person with stories to tell is no one to mess with …

    Reply
12. qazse Says:

    
    February 15, 2007 at 11:55 pm

    yes,is the fence a protection or a trap?

    Reply
13. tomachfive Says:

    
    February 17, 2007 at 7:16 am

    This strikes me as very spiritual, great shot.

    Reply
14. qazse Says:

    
    February 19, 2007 at 5:56 pm

    I wish I could take credit for the shot. Best regards tm5.

    Reply

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