Little Debbie of Death

February 14, 2007


be my valentine
(with eight twin-wrapped cakes
of corn syrup
processed sugar
processed flour
interesterified palm oil
partially hydrogenated
cottonseed oil
propylene glycol
polysorbate 60
red 40
twenty three other ingredients –
all for $1.05 )

I will love you forever
(with 3 grams of
artery clogging
surgery producing
medicine funding
saturated fat
per tiny tasteless cake)

you are my sweetheart
(with 26 grams
of system shocking
limb losing
rehab needing
insulin breeding
heart pumping sugar
per two cake “serving”)

24 Responses to “Little Debbie of Death”

  1. haijin Says:

    Is that be my valentine or corpse bride?

    Qazse: corpse bride, call her Little Deadly!
    thanks for stopping by…

  2. bloglily Says:

    Oh little Debbie, say it isn’t so — I thought you were pure, single (ish) ingredient and here it turns out you’re sullied in so many ways.

    You, Q, are my idea of the ideal valentine!

    xo, BL

    Qazse: Lovely Lily. So nice to see you back in circulation. I am sorry to burst your notions of LD. (short for LDL?) You needed to know.

    I am flabbergasted, fluxed, and beside myself to be called an ideal valentine… but I will take the complement and gently tuck it into the box of treasures I have received from you: acceptance, affirmation, encouragement, insight, entertainment, new horizons, disclosure, and stellar example – to name but a few. Lily, you occupy a special place this Valentines Day in many many hearts.

    xo, Q

  3. fencer Says:

    Propylene glycol stearate… hmmm,isn’t that some kind of anti-freeze chemical? Tasty anyway!


    Qazse: Hey fencer. Just got done snow throwing four driveways of fifteen inches. Our first significant fall this winter. I am sure someone else has probably done this kind of poem before but if not – it had to be done. How can one waste such poetic words on textbooks and food labels alone? Regarding your observation, I think you have hit upon something. I think I will keep a twin wrap on my desk and see how long those suckers last!


  4. ps… how did you do these great tags in wordpress??? me want!

  5. mikaelah Says:

    love it! Not the LD’s – your wit! While you deal with some pretty serious stuff over here, you often bring a smile and laugh – much appreciated as always. Happy V’s day!

  6. Naughty Heather Says:

    I am ashamed to say that at church last night LDs were the dessert – and I had already read your post – and I ate them anyway – and they were so freakin’ good!!


  7. Adagio Says:


  8. qazse Says:

    Thank you and Happy Valentine’s Day to each one of you. I am wondering if Heather’s church had the chocolate heart cakes?

    Ascender – I am not sure what you are referring to. Sounds like I did something cool inadvertently.

  9. Naughty Heather Says:

    Actually, because I go to a church with people who eat a lot of crap, we had both the chocolate ones and the pink ones…one of each on a red plate. My children were in heaven! 🙂
    (Wonder how the minister would feel about that analogy….)

  10. Liza Says:

    lol I haven’t eaten Little Debbie for over 5 years, Thank God. 😉

  11. qazse Says:

    Liza, do you eat healthy?

  12. Liza Says:

    Hahaha, Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply!! Yes, I try to eat healthy all the time! Occasionally, I fall for a piece of chocolate or ice cream! ;D

  13. qazse Says:

    that’s okay about the delay. I just figured you were chewing on something…:)

  14. flynch Says:

    seems 2 me that SDA’er would find a better dessert cake that would be healthier. But, isn’t that what they wouldn’t want? Somebody needs to fund the cardiologist at swankie hospitals like LOMA LINDA UNIVERSITY

  15. brian Says:

    hey, they are Little Debbie “snack” cakes. They’re intended to be a snack or desert, not a meal. With a little attention to portion control and common sense, they’re a wholesome product.

  16. qazse Says:

    What about apples, oranges, raisins, whole grains, … non-manufactured foods are what I think of as “wholesome”.

    We have all been brainwashed. It is just lifting more quickly for some.

  17. […] poem /Little Debbie of Death/ is a popular […]

  18. […] poem /Little Debbie of Death/ is a popular […]

  19. Audrey Says:


  20. Rev. Barky Says:

    And all of this lousy food from a company run by Adventists. Praise the Lord!

  21. qazse Says:

    and pass the catheter!

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