How to be a great teacher of self absorption

December 21, 2007

Put yourself on the cover
of every issue.
Name it after you.

Live in a mansion
with fourteen bathrooms
and only two asses.

Build an exclusive school
amidst great need –
create clones of yourself.

Go orgasmic over
shiny things
as if they bring happiness.

9 Responses to “How to be a great teacher of self absorption”

  1. qazse Says:

    Think about it. If you model living like a princess as a legitimate pursuit you are part of the problem. There are just so many princes and princesses this sad world can endure.

    It is not just Oprah. It is most of us who have a secure comfortable life. I pick on Oprah because she is iconic and typically at odds with herself and her value system. She has done some good but I think it is far outweighed by her negative example of excessive consumption and the legitimization of same.

  2. Sorrow Says:

    You forget to add that she preaches about relationships and has never been married, and child rearing and has none.
    But in fairness, she does try to teach kindness…
    Love the poem
    it hits a mark
    that is both a sigh and a smirk.

  3. c Says:

    i read an article in a local paper for the rather affluent town directly south of me, speaking on how people are spending themselves to death to have all the big bling. And how the line that signifies wealth is blurring as more “regular” or average people are somehow able to obtain high end goods. Poor darlings! So now wealth will be measured by acts of philanthropy.

    Can’t wait!

    The third stanza of your poem is what really struck me. It is so hurtful, but no one says life is fair. Although, i believe it could be, and should be.

  4. qazse Says:

    I don’t watch much Oprah, only when it is forced upon me like at the doctor’s office or the occasional interrogation room at some secret location.

  5. qazse Says:

    But I have seen enough to get the gist.

  6. birdsword Says:

    Do you ever watch mad TV? There are some “absolutely oprah” moments which are a demonic satire of the big O. There are also spoofs of her relationship with her noted demon spawn Dr. Phil

  7. qazse Says:

    hey birdsword. I have never seen the Oprah bit on MadTV. I went to youTube and there was plenty. My favorite was Oprah giving out money. Thanks for the heads up. Now I’m going back to find some w/ Dr Phil. Happy Holidays!

  8. birdsword Says:

    Happy New Year!
    I haven’t seen the giving out money episode yet- enjoy Dr. Phil in the cage.

  9. qazse Says:

    Hey birdsword, I neglected to wish you a happy 2008!

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