Fuck you kids!

August 2, 2010

Citric Acid
Artificial Flavor
Red 40
Red 30
Yellow 5
Yellow 6
Blue 1

Product of China


From Candy and Snack Today:

New from The Foreign Candy Co., Inc. are Power Powder Legs. Header and footer cards have 35-inch plastic tubes affixed, and the tubes are filled with layers of strawberry, lemon lime, apple, orange, grape and blue raspberry candy powder. Each 1.66-ounce unit has a SRP of $1.29, and display hooks hold 12 units. They ship four per case.

7 Responses to “Fuck you kids!”

  1. c Says:


    I work in a place where I witness parents buying huge bags of sugar and chemicals for their children. Only once in the past year have I heard a child pass up candy and ask for applesauce, located, of course, on the same aisle as the candy.

    There are three pound bags of Skittles available. And a two and a half pound bag of Sour Patch Kids. By the way, after eating Sour Patch Kids, one should wait for a while before brushing one’s teeth, because brushing too soon after consuming them greatly increases the damage done to tooth enamel caused by the high citric acid content.

    We love our children so!

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to smoke a cigarette.

  2. c Says:

    I love the title too.

    However, I just noticed a tag for mothering, but what about the dads? Dads buy that stuff for their children, too.

    It has been my observation that when dads are shopping with their families, they are often the member to request, or ‘fight’ for the candy. And I’ve also noticed that when dads shop alone with their children, more often than not, children score the bigger-sized candy. But this is just my observation. Plus, I am a mother and my mothering doesn’t often include feeding the youngsters huge portions of poison. And mothers tend to be blamed for everything.

    Just thought I’d mention that. I’m no feminist, just a person who likes spreading the blame around equally. 😉


  3. qazse Says:

    Hi C (product placement) You are so right, the “fathering” category should have been included. It was an oversight on my part. I do agree that males are less mindful when it comes to such matters and I did not mean to imply, by my omission, that mothers are any more culpable than fathers might be.

    We are all a part of this corporate delusion… we dance with a beast.

    “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to smoke a cigarette.” – funny

    Best, Herb

  4. Nerds Rope


    From the Willy Wonka website:

    “For additional nutritional information please read the back panel of the product.

    Or you can call us at 1-800-358-1971 (8am – 8pm Eastern Time) for more information.”

    As an aside, have you noticed that it is almost impossible to obtain chewing gum without Aspertame? In the good ole days we took our sugar snacks straight up.

    Thanks to Rummy (previous Searle CEO) and his hand-picked FDA minions, we can always enjoy a copious amount of neuro-toxin chemical sweetener in every stick of gum.

    It took a good fifteen years for Aspertame to acquire FDA approval. Now (thankfully) we can rest peacefully knowing that we won’t get fat from excessive sugar ingestion and suffer the attendant social stigma of being a fatty-pants mscsweaty tub-o-lard.

    Life is good!

  5. qazse Says:

    Nerds rope, and f’in amazon.com wastes precious resources shipping crap like that.

    I have noticed the chewing gum change over. I remember when one could pick up a stack of Black Jack neatly wrapped in a pack at almost any counter. And I loved biting into a fresh Bazooka. I am no longer a user of gum since the sugar will cause cavities and the alternatives, probably will contribute to cancer.

    Is there such a thing as an Aspertame High, (as in “sugar high”)? I should not say that so loud. If word gets out aspartame sales will shoot up. Plant the rumor and invest in aspartame advises the Harvard MBA.

    Best to you Johnnie!

  6. Polar Says:

    Hey, I noticed Mercury was not an ingredient! From China and no mercury? Must be off the diet isle then!

    Remember, the institutions that guided the food supply into what it is today are the same institutions that gave us public schools.

    It’s funny how people think slavery ended after the Civil War. Well, maybe not funny…

    • qazse Says:

      hey Polar, wow this is like old times when I look at the avatars on the comment widget! You, Johnny Peepers and Christine – makes me want to come back to blogging! Hope all is well, I know you have been away from blogging for a while…

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