changing in place
April 28, 2008
new package
new bottles
new make
new models
new fashion
new faces
new gadget
new places
old game
new looks
old fish
new hooks
Little Debbie of Death
February 7, 2008
Be my valentine
(with eight twin-wrapped cakes
of corn syrup
processed sugar
processed flour
interesterified palm oil
partially hydrogenated
cottonseed oil
TBHQ
diglycerides
propylene glycol
monostearate
polysorbate 60
red 40
and
twenty three other ingredients –
all for $1.05 )
I will love you forever
(with 3 grams of
artery clogging
surgery producing
medicine funding
saturated fat
per tiny tasteless cake)
You are my sweetheart
(with 26 grams
of system shocking
limb losing
rehab needing
insulin breeding
heart pumping sugar
per two cake “serving”)
the Bush Lecture Tour:
November 28, 2007
blame it on the killer eggs
August 4, 2006
Diner Diner burning bright
sober beacon
drunken night.
Java Java steaming hot
swore I wouldn’t
drink a lot.
Eggs Eggs slimy soft
all too soon
I send aloft.
Run Run for the door
retch my innards
to the floor.
Wake Wake tormented head
sweating gin
wish I were dead.
with apologies to William Blake
Ask Mister Helpful
July 5, 2006
Question:
Dear Mister Helpful,
I love to eat at McDonalds because it is cool and the food is really really good. But every time I eat there I feel sick about 45 minutes later. What should I do?
Signed, Nauseous in Nashua
Answer:
Dear Nauseous,
Try eating 45 minutes earlier.
I’m lovin’ it,
Mr. H.
The marketing
geekdom
will not rest
until every
inch of earth and sky
is covered
with corporate logos
like a NAS CAR:
This oak tree
is sponsored
by Viagra
Miller Lite
and Little Debbie
That cloud
by Marlboro
Nicoderm
and STP
This stream
by Jim Beam…
qazse 